My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize