u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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