How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
