Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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