dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
