haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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