I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
