if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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