we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
