I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
