Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
