I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
