I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
