i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
