Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
