I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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