Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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