I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Michael Bay diarrhea
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
