how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It's rum buckets o'clock
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize