You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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