God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
