Sry I called you an 8
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
