um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
