I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
