that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
