Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize