god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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