yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
