I feel like abortions should bother me more
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
