You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
