he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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