If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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