I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize