he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I will pee on everything he values.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
