So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
