He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
