My boss' voice literally gives me gas
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize