oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
