Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
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Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
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Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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