My nipple is on Facebook.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Actions speak louder than pants.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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