But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I think I sprained my soul last night
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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