Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
