A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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