I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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