Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
