we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
