found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
