A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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