you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
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We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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