grinding to god bless the USA? really?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.