the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
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If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
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a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.