i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship