Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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