woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
