He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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