Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
whose parrot is this?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
