take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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