dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
