we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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