I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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