margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
that's an acceptable place to lick
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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